How To Grow From Failure

(Positive Disintegration)

If one thing is certain about entrepreneurship I believe that failure is inevitable.

I believe we need failure and negative experiences to help us grow and learn as an individual. But what differentiates the entrepreneur who uses their failures as fuel as opposed to ones who use it as poison to their growth?

One psychological theory aims to clarify this and describes how transformations such as this occurs, and the type of people who are most likely to take advantage of these growth opportunities: the theory of positive disintegration.

This theory was developed in the 1960’s by Polish psychologist and psychiatrist Kazimierz Dąbrowski. While reading the word “disintegration” this might throw you off at first, its usual definition is generally used in situations where something is burned to ashes or completely obliterated. According to the man who developed this theory though, it is when tragedy hits and our previous sense of self or identity is swept away like leaves in the breeze that we are at our greatest potential for self growth. Hence the use of the word “disintegration”.

While in these states of “disintegration”, we begin to question not only what we know, but who we are. This is very important because in times like these we are able to pick up the pieces of ourselves we most identify with, leave the ones we don’t anymore and create a new identity that is more true and unique to our authentic selves.

Clearly it doesn’t always take a massive tragedy to spark this transformation in yourself. In life you are constantly being “disintegrated” on a day to day basis by people, life events, and even your own mind. While it’s hard to suggest who’s likely to grow and who’s likely to fold from their experiences in life, I have some suggestions for you…

I started meditating at the beginning of this January and I can definitely say it’s helped the way I perceive the world around me. You can start to pick up on new observations, new details, and new patterns. You also start to develop a differentiation between your thoughts and who you are which I think is extremely important.

Real quick though I’d like for you to try something. Try taking a deep breath and just relax. Look around you and just observe whatever setting or room you’re in. Try to focus in on the moment and see if you can stop letting your thoughts block you observing what’s going on around you. Just start to realize that your thoughts block a lot focus and take a lot of energy out of your life. To take massive action and grow you must be focused on the now, the present.

We get so stuck in our heads sometimes that we forgot to focus on what’s most important. We ruminate on future problems that haven’t occurred yet or previous events that already happened. Yes it’s important to evaluate these future possibilities and previous events but thinking about them too much will only cause you either anxiety & stress or depression & regret depending on how far or back you put your thoughts.

Living in the present prevents this. It gives you the freedom to be you, now, and direct yourself where you need to go. There’s no time like the present and I suggest you take action NOW!

Once you start to develop a better sense of awareness of the present moment I suggest you stay on the lookout for Feedback.

Feedback occurs when your actions & decisions that you make on day to day basis create a result or consequence. This feedback could be a positive or negative one depending the action or decision you made.

The more positive actions you make the more the positive feedback is amplified in your life, the more negative actions you make the more negative feedback is created that deteriorates your life.

This is where the importance of understanding feedback loops comes in. When you can understand the results or consequences that will come from certain actions (the loop), you then can create more habits and actions that are consistently positive to amplify positive results in your life.

To truly create real impact in life you must understand yourself. Learn your values, who you are, & who you want to become. Actually take time now and then to sit down with yourself and think about these things, it helps.

As you start to align your actions also with the values you believe in you start to act more in accordance to your true self. I believe being true to yourself is the best path for self growth and finding happiness in life.

As I’ve started adjusting my actions in life more to who I believe I am I’ve noticed a shift in things. I’ve noticed my life going much smoother and that I’m creating more positive growth for myself which is great.

As easy as it is to write and type how you should live your life it’s much easier said than done. Life is extremely complex, with intrinsic systems that sometimes seem to be set you up for you to fail.

Continue to work on yourself and I promise you’ll reach whatever goal you set out to achieve. Just know if you’re experiencing uncomfort in life it’s ok. Life by default is naturally challenging, but that’s what helps us grow.

Just be brave enough to be yourself and things will work out in the end.

Author, Andrez Chuney

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