Swimming in the Ocean

How I overcame my biggest fear

Sitting on the grass field at 9:30 am on the sunny Sunday, we had donuts that Suzie brought and listened to do’s and don’ts for an hour from how to read the tide, where to go and where not go to, why you would join the dolphin club, what to do when you run into seals.

We put on our wetsuits, and then slowly walked into the water. Getting an adrenaline rush, we started swimming. We took a break every ten arm strokes or so, talked about how we felt, asked questions floating in the water, and swam again further away from the shore.

Oh, why didn’t I ask what to do when I panic when we were sitting on the grass? I panicked. My breathing was fine. I didn’t have physical pain. I just thought to myself, “ there’s nothing around me, nothing I can step on. I am going to drown. I should get out of here.” It was the voice in my head, In reality, there’s nothing dangerous out there.

I talked to Suzie, “I’m panicking. I want to go back.” She said, “You are ok. Can you breathe?

“Yes, I can breathe.”

She talked to other students and started calming me down. “Shinyoung is panicking. Let me show you how to calm down.”

“Ok, float on your back and put your hands on your stomach. Breathe slowly and deeply. Focus on your hands' movement on your stomach.”

Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…

Just like that, I meditated floating in the ocean for 3 minutes or so. Then I came back to reality. BOOM. Words can’t explain that feeling. I own the world and I feel I can do anything I want. It was one of the best feelings I had in my life.

It’s fascinating and reassuring to know that I can apply the same technique whenever I panic in my daily life. A lot of times, the disaster is in my head. Slow down, breathe deep….take a break, and then resume.

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